Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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