don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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