we have pet lesbian snakes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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