So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize