My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
