I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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