Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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