I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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