you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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