My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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