I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
