based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize