Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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