My liver just broke up with me...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Congratulations! We have a period
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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