I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You have to summon your inner elephant
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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