just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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