mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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