i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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