are you so shy because you have an std?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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