I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
