dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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