what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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