based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
