where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
