There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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