Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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