Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
