The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
