never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
