Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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