Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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