My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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