She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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