Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize