Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
