The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
