Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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