First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
