She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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