Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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