do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
