so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize