The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
