so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
