I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
not ubering you a puppy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
