Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She said her name was "party"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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