Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
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nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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