Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
