Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
