THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
