Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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