if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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