Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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