sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize