Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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