If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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