she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
