we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
