not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
