Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
