I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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