Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
ttyl tear gas
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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