Buhtt sex?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
