He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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