So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
