im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
