I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it hurts more in the daytime
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
